Autism, Airports and Lifelong Learning

September 25, 2014Autism and Aging, Hidden Curriculumadmin

For most of my life airports have befuddled me. It didn’t so much matter earlier in my life because the only time I used an airport was to go to visit my parents in another state. Back then, before we had the heightened security of today, people were allowed to meet passengers as they stepped off the plane which allowed me to simply follow them through the airport without needing to concern myself with the confusion all around me.

In My 40’s

Then, airport security changed. People picking up passengers could no longer go through the security checkpoint. I had to figure out how to navigate on my own after deplaning. No problem yet! I was able to get myself all the way to the luggage retrieval carrousel in this one airport as I had traveled the walking path many times. Eventually, I could exit the door to curbside pick up at this one familiar airport.

In My 50’s

Then came a wrinkle in my navigation. I met a friend who lived in new-to-me city that had a much smaller airport. A smaller airport didn’t make it easier because size didn’t matter to me – familiarity was the comfort factor. This new airport was novel. “NO, NO, NO!” is how I react to anything novel. Even though at the time I had just passed 50, I felt I did not have the experience to navigate a strange airport on my own.

My friend assured me I could do this. “It will be ok,” she encouraged. “You only have to walk a few steps. Just follow the other passengers. It is impossible to get lost. I will be right there waiting for you.” Sounds really simple. Not so, I knew. A confounding factor is that I have poor face recognition, especially in crowds of people. Even though I knew my friend would be waiting I also knew that I wouldn’t recognize her. We made the plan that she would say, “Hello, Judy Endow. It’s Brenda Myles.” The plan worked.

Good thing because I soon began to be invited to speak in places that required me to fly. Each time was so nerve-wracking for me until one day my friend Brenda explained to me how airports are all laid out the same way. Even though the floor plans of each airport is different they all have check in, security, departure gates, luggage pick up places, etc.

Once the rhyme and reason of airport layout was pointed out to me it made sense. There was a familiar pattern that I could count on. I felt a bit stupid for not ever having realized this, but that is the way my autism plays out for me. This sort of ordinary information that most people just automatically pick up often needs to be directly pointed out to me. Once this hidden curriculum information is directly taught, I totally get it and never again need to be told. My neurology can then accumulate the critical mass necessary to enable me to navigate airports automatically without needing to think through each step each time while using an unfamiliar airport. Understanding hidden curriculum is sometimes necessary in critical mass development that allows for my autopilot mode when performing tasks. In this example the hidden curriculum that the general pattern of navigation through an airport rather than the floor plan of every particular airport was the salient information needed to be directly taught to me before I was able to accumulate enough experience to develop the critical mass that enables me to now navigate any airport without much effort at all.

In fact, today I fly all over the country and no longer get anxious about navigating an airport. Besides having learned the general components of airports and how they are set up I have also learned that I can ask for directions if I should get lost inside an airport. In addition, I have learned to look for signage inside an airport. Again, I didn’t know to do so until it was directly pointed out to me. It is another one of those hidden curriculum items most people just seem to know, but doesn’t come naturally to me. (Just so you don’t get the idea that I have an intellectual disability, I would like to insert here that I got a near perfect score on the ACT when I took it in my 30’s.) My difficulties have nothing to do with lack of intelligence, but everything to do with my autism neurology!

Besides becoming successful in airports around the country, I now go out of the country and have added the passport and customs protocol along with foreign languages to my repertoire of airport navigation. The first time I went on an international flight all by myself I was nervous about checking in using my passport. This was something new. I detest new things!

Airport Thievery

I arrived at my hometown airport plenty early, approached the self-check in kiosk and followed the directions. During the process a directive flashed on the screen instructing me to “please swipe passport.” My brain automatically defaults to a literal interpretation of everything I take in. I don’t decide to do this. It is just the way my brain works. In addition, I think in pictures. This means that pictures pop up in my head. The first picture my brain had recorded for “swipe” automatically popped up when I read “please swipe passport.” This picture involves a pickpocket theft – the thief “swiping” a wallet from his victim.

I was appalled by what the kiosk was directing me to do. How awful to have to steal a fellow passenger’s passport! I clutched onto my passport even tighter in case the guy at the next kiosk might try to swipe it. I intentionally took some slow deep breaths trying to calm myself while keeping an eye on the potential thieves all around me. It was hard to calm down. I looked at the directive “please swipe passport” still on the screen I loudly announced, “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this!”

An agent came over, looked at the screen, took my passport and swiped it – just like I swipe my credit card at the grocery store. Once I saw that I realized exactly what the kiosk directions meant because I have swiped my credit card many times. My brain just hadn’t pulled up the right “swipe” picture.

Conclusion

Since that time I have become much more comfortable in airports. It has made my life bigger. I recently returned from a trip to Paris, Lisbon and Madrid, able to fly and navigate solo even when new languages are added into the mix. I can now find myself a taxi and get to my hotel after my plane arrives at its destination without even speaking other languages. I simply write down the address of where I am going and give it to the driver. Along the way I have learned that I can successfully deal with the unplanned surprises that come up. Ultimately I can get where I am going without being any more frazzled that the average passenger. Chalk this up as something more a person can learn after 50. I have learned not to assume an autistic person will never learn to do something. We cannot predict what another person will be able to learn in the future. Soon I will be 60 and am wondering what new things I will learn in the next decade!

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on July 10, 2014

Autism and Psychiatric Diagnoses

September 21, 2014Autistic "Behavior"admin

At different times during my growing up and even during my adult years autism wasn’t something people knew much about. I often came in front of mental health professionals. It is important to know that if you go to a mental health professional or take your child to a mental health professional in all probability you will walk out with a diagnosis of a mental condition as found in the DSM-5 – otherwise known as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders.

In my adult life I obtained a master’s degree in social work. I did clinical work diagnosing and treating people in psychiatric settings. Eventually, I limited my practice to autism. When I worked as a clinician, to give a diagnosis, a checklist description of a particular diagnosis needed to be fulfilled by the patient in order to diagnose a patient with a particular label. Even if I didn’t know for sure if the patient met the criteria for a particular diagnosis I would need to write in a provisional or working diagnosis for the patient’s medical records. This was necessary for the clinic to be able to receive reimbursement from the medical insurance company. Therefore, when a person receives services from a mental health clinic, that person will wind up with a mental health diagnosis, whether they are told that diagnosis or not, it will be in their medical records.

Have you or your child sought out the help of a mental health professional? If so, it may be wise to find out if the particular provider you see has experience working with people who have an autism neurology. This is because what can appear to be a psychiatric symptom can sometimes be more accurately described as a function of autistic thinking. The distinction is important because it drives treatment.

Example: Hallucinations need to be treated. Thinking in pictures does not.

When a person with autism reports their experience are you quick to negate it only because your own neurology informs you differently? You may not be able to share the experience of an autistic because your own neurology is set up differently, but that doesn’t mean the autistic experience is any less real than your experience! It only means it is different.

Case Example: Tywanika, a second grader, was most upset because the swing she loved to use on the playground was shooting molten space daggers into her eyes. The swing only did this during afternoon recess. The swing did not shoot these molten space daggers during morning or lunch recess.

Both her teacher and her assistant assured Tywanika that molten space daggers were not real. They were trying to be helpful, but their words did not negate Tywanika’s experience. It was more helpful to gather information from Tywanika about these molten space daggers as she was well able to answer questions. She revealed that the molten space daggers lived in the swing chains and only speared her eyes in the afternoon.

What looked like a possible psychiatric problem turned out to be something much different! The molten space daggers phenomena first started on the Monday after the springtime change where clocks are moved ahead an hour. This made Tywanika’s recess time coincide with the sun at a slightly different level in the sky. As the sun rays bounced off the metal chains of the swing Tywanika’s sensitive sensory system noticed the difference in a way to cause her experience to be that of molten space daggers being thrust into her eyes.

When Tywanika was taken out to the swings an hour earlier and an hour later in the afternoon the problem did not occur. Tywanika could then understand what was happening. It was only a few weeks until the sun had shifted enough that the bright reflection off the swing chains was no longer problematic

NOTE: The above case example is excerpted from my book Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated (Endow, 2013).

I take the time to explain this because while I was growing up I have received mental health diagnoses that were not accurate even though I met the criteria to receive each of the diagnoses at the time they were given. For example, when a teen. I was asked if I saw things that other people don’t see, if I saw things that really weren’t there, if I heard voices that others don’t hear, etc. The answers to all these questions were “yes.” Because of my autism neurology, even though I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with autism, my sense of sight and sense of hearing delivered much more detailed information to me than was typically experienced by the majority of people. This was a function of my autism neurology rather than indications of schizophrenia. Thus, treatment for schizophrenia was not at all successful. (Endow, 2009)

In conclusion, an autistic person, just like any person, can have comorbid diagnoses. My point in this writing isn’t to negate that reality, but rather to caution that we need mental health diagnosticians and therapy providers who understand autism neurology so as to prevent the errors of assigning unwarranted clinical symptomology when it does not exist.

To avoid this clinicians need to understand the autistic style of thinking along with how our sensory system operates when we take in, process, store and retrieve information from the world around us. The selves we bring to interface with the world around us run on a different operating system. Thinking visually or hearing robustly in an autistic does not, in and of itself, equate to hallucinatory phenomena. We need clinicians who can tease out aspects of the autistic way of being and interfacing with the world from psychiatric symptomology. This is quite important because we can treat psychiatric symptomology such as hallucinations, but it is unnecessary and dangerous to label and to treat the autistic way of being as if it were a psychiatric symptom.

Painting below is Left Sun
Available in sets of 5 greeting cards
and acrylic prints in three sizes
 in the Art Store at www.judyendow.com

Sun sparkles from the sky to me
A present to my soul
Brightness, lightness now reigned in
The girl her mastery shows!

As a child I often tried to catch the sparkles from the sun. I later learned as an adult that most people do not even see these ever-present-to-me sun sparkles! Each day my autism neurology presents me with a unique mixed bag of blessings and challenges.

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on July 1, 2014

Starting Third Grade

September 16, 2014Growing Up Autisticadmin

Starting Third Grade is a poem illustrating my experience as an autistic youngster in the 1950’s as I started the school year. The unconventional spacing represents the space of time for my brain processing to “catch up” so the next word can plop out of my mouth. This manner of speech isn’t a behavior I decide to engage in, but instead, nothing more than the way my brain does business – similar to the way your brain does business by not inserting spaces of processing time between your words mid sentence. Both the poem and the illustration are excerpted from pages 38-39 of my first book Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers.

Too much new

for back to school

is why I just don’t like it,

though

each new thing

all by itself

is entirely

acceptable.

New shiny shoes

I do so love

new ribbons in my hair

a freshly pressed

brand new pink dress

Oh …

ain’t I

debonair!

My satchel packed

with all new things

with all the stuff I need

sits on the floor

next to the door

just waiting

for me

to leave!

New class lists

posted on the doors;

the students find their names.

They take their seats

and wait to see

what will

this brand new teacher

say!

“Unpack supplies.

Get settled in.

My name is on the board.”

on and on

her voice keeps speaking

way much

too many

words.

Her voice plows on

it will not quit.

Words heap up in a pile,

while yellow chalk

adds to the talk.

School

just ain’t

my style.

Time for recess.

Go outside.

New playground has no shade.

Kids race about;

They run and shout.

At recess

I might

die.

I stand real still

and close my eyes.

The teacher comes by me.

She does smell nice,

but I’ve made up my mind …

I right now

quit

third grade.

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

We Are Not In Our Own World

September 14, 2014Autistic "Behavior", Sensory Solutions, Social Considerationsadmin

We need to be careful about how we think about and talk about people with disabilities. One example is the reference that those who are autistic or deaf or blind or have some sort of movement differences are “in their own world.”

The fact is we all share the very same world. But we also all try to make sense out of the world we live in. One way we all make sense of what we see in other people is to assign meaning to what we see according to what it would mean if we were engaging in that behavior. Most of the time this strategy serves us well (Endow, 2013).

Here are examples of behavior from students I’ve seen in schools along with the erroneous meaning assigned to the behavior and followed by the actual reason for the behavior.

Head Banging

Behavior: This little girl banged her head onto concrete walks and into walls several times a day both at home and at school. She was so forceful as to give herself a concussion. Because of that she was wearing a helmet.

Meaning Assigned to Behavior: People tried to make sense out of this little girl’s head banging. They took data in attempts to discover a pattern. They used the data to conclude the girl engaged in head banging whenever she was asked to do something she didn’t want to do.

Actual Reason for Behavior: After six months of mostly unsuccessful behavior shaping and reward systems it was discovered the little girl had a severe case of head lice. Once the head lice was eradicated the head banging stopped completely.

Dropping To The Floor

Behavior: Whenever this First Grader left his classroom with the rest of his class when he crossed the threshold into the hallway he would drop to the floor yelling, “No, no, no!” He would roll around on the floor until an adult approached him. As soon as the adult tried to take his hand and help him up this little boy would start playfully pulling back on her hand and giggling. After a short time of this he would get up and walk down the hallway to his destination. When the child was the only student leaving the classroom with the Speech Therapist or the Reading Specialist he did not fall to the floor.

Meaning Assigned to Behavior: Everyone on this child’s IEP Team had decided that he “pitched a fit” when leaving the room with the rest of the class because he preferred the one on one attention of an adult – any adult. They collected data and used it to confirm their hypothesis was correct because the “fit throwing” only happened when the little boy left the room with his classmates, but whenever he left with any adult, even a stranger, he did not “throw his fit.”

Actual Reason For the Behavior: The little boy had an unreliable sense of proprioception. For him, whenever seeing much movement was combined with space change along with lighting change his sense of proprioception bottomed out. These conditions were met each time several students left the classroom at the same time. When the little boy left the classroom with only one other person the movement was much less so as long as he held the hand of the adult his proprioception was such that he could walk down the hall even though the space and lighting had changed. Additionally, when his proprioception betrayed him and someone took his hand trying to help pull him up it delivered proprioceptive input to his joints and muscles after which he was able to stand up and walk.

These are but two of numerous examples of what can happen when we assign meaning to behavior according to what that behavior would mean if we were engaged in it. Furthermore, sometimes even the data we collect actually supports our wrong guess!

This is so dangerous. We wind up assigning negative character traits to our children. In the stories above the little girl was thought to be stubborn and insisting on having her own way and the little boy was labeled an attention seeker. Once the negative character traits have been assigned we all feel off the hook in terms of needing to solve the problem – in fact we start thinking and even saying that it is the child’s own fault, blaming him for willful behavior (Endow, 2013).

Both of these children were nonverbal and both were said to be “in their own worlds” when they were, in fact, engaging in behavior that communicated very real problems. We need to stop saying people are in their own world when they have disabilities or different neurologies such as autism. It serves nobody well when our words draw a line, placing those who are different away from us, those we say are “in their own world” on the other side of that line – the side for those people who we can then not consider real human beings. After all, they are “in their own world.”

Whether we understand somebody else’s behavior or not the fact remains we all share the very same world. To speak differently not only attempts to minimize the humanity of others, but also sets us up for our own failure as human beings. If you describe autistic or disabled people as in their own world will you please stop?

Thank you so much,
Judy Endow

REFERENCE

Endow, J. (2013). Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBRPress.

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on August 20, 2013

IT IS STILL WRONG TO MURDER YOUR AUTISTIC CHILDREN

September 4, 2014Activism/Advocacy, Growing Up Autisticadmin

It has been one year since the murder attempt on Issy Stapleton by her mother, Kelli. During that year there has been an outpouring of sympathy for this mother only because Issy is disabled with a severe autism diagnosis. In our society we not only excuse murderers who’s victims are disabled, but we put the murderer in the victim role and dismiss the life of the murdered person – a “not real human being” in the eyes of our society. This is wrong.

Click here for a story with this week’s update. Read below for the blog written one year ago when the murder attempt first occurred. Not much has changed in the past year. Is anyone noticing what is happening in this case? What do you think about parents of autistic children continuing to tell one another that it is understandable for them to murder their autistic children?

Written one year ago on September 4, 2013

Issy Stapleton, 14, remained hospitalized in Grand Rapids, Michigan late Wednesday after her mother, Kelli Stapleton, allegedly attempted to murder her.

State police Lt. Kip Belcher said two portable charcoal grills were burning inside the vehicle where Issy was found unconscious. He said the van’s windows were shut and investigators believe Issy’s mother intended to murder her daughter.

Assistant Prosecutor Jennifer Tang-Anderson said authorities don’t believe the incident was an accident. Benzie County Prosecutor Sara Swanson said she authorized a felony attempted murder charge.

Belcher says Issy may have suffered permanent brain damage from the carbon monoxide poisoning. Issy’s mother was also found in the van and though unconscious when found, is expected to make a full recovery and is expected to be arraigned yet this week in 85th District Court.

Attempted murder carries a maximum penalty of life imprisonment with parole.

The above story is what I constructed by merely pulling from the original story. It is horrifying. Any person who attempts to murder a 14-year-old sparks in us an outrage, as it should. It is not uncommon for people to read this and say, “I hope that murderer never gets out of prison!” or even, “Prison is too good for her!”

I shared Issy’s story above rather than her mother’s story. The news media shares Issy’s mother’s story as if the story is about Issy’s mother and not about Issy. That is because Issy is autistic. For some reason, in our warped culture, being autistic somehow means you don’t count – you are not considered human being enough to count even after someone tries to murder you! In fact, you will likely not even be part of the story after the first few sentences.

The story becomes one of excuses for the mother or care giver who attempts to or actually succeeds in murdering the autistic. At our core, as a society, we hold the belief that a disabled person is better off dead.

We don’t actually talk about this belief, but it is what is underneath when so many can read the story and agree with and sympathize with the murderer. In no other murder scenario do we do this – sympathize with the murder and blame lack of services. Disabled people are construed as a burden to their families and are even thought to be the fault of their own murders! Sympathy starts pouring in for the poor murderer who had no choice and who, in fact, did what any one else would be driven to do under the same circumstances is what we are told by reporters.

WRONG

There are ever so many things wrong with this story line we see repeated about the “unfortunate tragedy” due to the “lack of services” for the family of an autistic person, while writing out the actual autistic person who was in fact murdered or had an attempt of murder carried out against her.

Here are some facts the news reports do not tell us:

1. Autistic people are human beings. Human beings do not deserve to be murdered. PERIOD. NO ifs, ands or buts.

2. Autistic people’s lives are not worth less than other people’s lives.

3. Autistic people do NOT cause their caregivers to murder them.

4. Lack of services is not a reason for murder.

5. If you are a parent or caregiver and feel the only way out is to murder your child you are in crisis. Call a crisis line. Your child may be removed from your care temporarily. Foster care isn’t great, but it will keep your child alive while your crisis state can be addressed.

I know by writing this I will have many parents of autistic children jump all over me saying all the usual things they say. So, I will tell you a bit about me ahead of time.

I was “severe” enough as a child to be institutionalized. As a teen I lived in two foster care arrangements that were not appropriate for an autistic teen. One was a group home for mentally retarded adults (that word was not a bad word at the time) even though I was neither mentally retarded or an adult. The other was a group home for delinquent teens; I was a teen, but not delinquent.

It took me a long time to grow up, but I did grow up. Today I have 3 grown sons, one of whom is on the autism spectrum. I was told my autistic son exhausted all the services when he was a teen, including the state mental institution after which he was returned home to my care. At times I feared for my life. I feared for the lives of my other children. I was only told my son had failed all the services my county had to offer and that I should call the police when he became violent.

I foster parented a severely autistic teen for a short time. I went to college. I got a master’s degree in social work. I worked in clinical settings. Eventually, I limited my practice to autism. Today I have my own business. I am an author, consultant, artist and international speaker on autism topics.

I write all this about myself because, nearing retirement, I have experienced all sides of this many-faceted story. I know how it feels to be the victim, the mother, the caregiver and the social worker. I understand foster care from the angle of the kid in the system, the foster parent and the social worker. And I can tell you that at the end of the day no matter how I look it I know this:

IT IS WRONG TO MURDER YOUR AUTISTIC CHILD.

If murder is looking like a solution to you it means you are near the breaking point and need help. Call your local crisis center and say these words, “I am thinking about murdering my autistic child and here is how I would do it.” Then tell them your plan. If you do not have a local crisis hot line go to the nearest hospital emergency room and say the same words. It is not a perfect solution. It is a crisis solution, but will ensure you get someone to help you in the moment because murder is not a solution to your problem.

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on September 5, 2013