Category Archives: Social Considerations

Autism and Eye Contact

November 17, 2014Communication, Sensory Solutions, Social Considerationsadmin

A challenge I am continually faced with as an autistic adult is the misinformed presumption and resulting behavior of neurotypical people when I do not look at them the in way they expect, want or demand of me. It is challenging because society has put the onus on me to change. Often it does not matter to others why I am different. They just want me to stop being different. Recently I was told directly, “If you want to be treated like a real person then act like one!”

Eye contact can be hard for autistics for a variety of reasons. When I was a youngster I received too much bright, bold, painful sensory information from making eye contact. To guard against the intense physical pain I did not engage in eye contact. If my teacher demanded eye contact I obediently did so, but at a price. I would float out of my body, hover up near the ceiling and look down, watching the little girl of me (Endow, 2013).

Donna Williams says, “Dissociation is the ability to cut off from what is happening around you or to you. In its simplest form it is daydreaming. It is a skill all children have and which children with autism tend to overdevelop in managing a world they find overwhelming for a whole range of reasons” (Williams, 2014).

Today, 50+ years later, I am able to use eye contact in a manner that can appear typical most of the time. My sensory system has changed over time and eye contact does not produce as much pain as it once did. When I am well regulated I can manage the moderate pain I do experience from eye contact in my day-to-day life. However, avoiding eye contact is something I automatically do to minimize the amount of incoming sensory information and thus cut down on pain. I have to remain on high alert so as to catch when I am automatically moving into this eye contact shut down mode or I will not even know when it is happening.

I think it is unfair in our society that even though something like eye contact can be physically painful for autistics and that even when we endure the pain we are not able to pick up social information from eye contact. We do not choose this, but it is one of the ways our autistic neurology can operate. Yet, even when people know eye contact can be painful and that we will not pick up much social information, we are STILL expected to perform the feat for the social comfort of others. Each time we don’t perform the socially expected eye contact people assign negative character attributes to us such as shifty, sneaky, untruthful, disinterested and hiding something.

Because of the inflexibility of society I find, as an autistic, I need to make accommodations for the neuromajority who get stuck in these erroneous assumptions. If I fail to accommodate them I wind up not only being thought of poorly, but I am given less opportunities, less job promotions, and less social and business invitations to events. In turn, this affects not only my quality of daily life, but also my ability to support myself with sufficient income.

I think it is wrong of society to negatively judge me by my lack of eye contact, but because they do and because I want access the onus has been on me to accommodate them. If you are autistic and need to outsmart the incorrect assumptions people make about you around your ability to employ conventional eye contact here are some things I have found helpful:

Fake Them Out
In this strategy I look at some place on another person’s face that is close to the eyes, but not directly into the eyes. This can be a person’s eyebrows or hairline. Practice with a friend by having your friend tell you when you are looking at him and when you are not as you employ looking at different spots on his face rather than his eyes.

Secretly Spy on Them
In this strategy I watch TV programs or video clips of scenes from TV shows where people are making eye contact so I can see what it is that people expect. With video you can stop, pause and replay as much as you like. This is much more helpful than to try to learn from the fleeting glances of eye contact that take place in real time which are often gone before my autistic brain can even start to process them. It is a good idea to have someone you trust help you find video clips that are considered typical eye contact because this strategy can backfire if you learn some eye contact that would be inappropriate for general everyday use.

Give Them an Experience
This strategy provides a simulated experience that allows other people to understand how they might feel if they needed to abide by a social rule that did not come naturally to them. You can simply tell this story and invite people to imagine it or you might invite them to actually try it for a few minutes. Here is the script:

New Rule: No Looking at People

Imagine how you might feel if you were asked to stop looking at people – to cease all eye contact. Now imagine how much more difficult that would be if each time you did manage not to engage in eye contact you felt physical pain and the only way to relieve that pain was to look at the person even though you knew it would make others unhappy. This is often what we put autistics through when we insist they go against the way their brain does business by forcing them to use typical eye contact” (Endow, 2013).

Self-Advocacy Script
If eye contact is at times so physically painful as to be impossible it can be helpful to explain why you are avoiding eye contact quickly and effectively to people so they will not assume negative character traits and consequently afford you less opportunities in life.

In conclusion, I think it totally unfair that the burden of accommodation falls on the autistic when it comes to eye contact. In my estimation it would be better if society could come to embrace neurodiversity, but because I cannot control society’s acceptance of my neurology I have figured out some ways to get where I want to go in this world, outsmarting John Q. Public’s limited and narrow beliefs, lack of Theory of (autistic) Mind and faulty attribution towards this autistic!

Sizzle Pop is the tittle of the acrylic painting by Judy Endow. See art at www.judyendow.com

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCE

Williams, D. quotation viewed 2014 on web site page www.donnawilliams.net

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on October 28, 2014

How To Outsmart “Inflexible Thinking”

November 11, 2014Social Considerations, Visual Supportsadmin

Because of my autism I have an autistic thinking style. One characteristic often attributed to me is “inflexible thinking.”

Flexibility in thinking has to do with being able to adapt when circumstances change by adjusting or shifting from one expectation to another. This has never been easy for me, but I have learned how to live more comfortably with my autistic thinking style in a world where flexibility is much more highly valued than my inborn trait.

First, I had to accept my own autism and the fact that I think differently (Endow, 2009). Self-acceptance doesn’t come easily for most autistics because we are brought up being molded into acting as an neurotypical (NT) acts (Endow, 2012). While some of this is necessary to enable us to live in the world, the flip side of it is that we come to understand that in the eyes of the world we are less than and have little value in our natural state.

Nobody sets out to teach us this, but it is what we learn. It took me many years to figure out that the truth is my brain has a different operating system than the brain of a NT. It isn’t good or bad – just different. While this doesn’t make me a bad or wrong human being, it does make life difficult in that I have to constantly accommodate the ways of the majority.

Next, I had to learn to fit in. In reality this meant that I had to come to terms with the fact that the world would not change and run according to what would make sense to me and make me comfortable. I have to accommodate everyday for the NT world. Not an easy thing to do!

Essentially, I had to learn how to outsmart my own neurology. I think visually. When circumstances change the information is typically delivered verbally. I have spent many years figuring out how to efficiently translate this verbal/language-based information into a visual format that allows me to keep up with the fast pace of the ever-changing social interface I meet every time I step outside my door.

Most often, because helpers do not have an autistic style of thinking they are unaware that the brains of most autistic children do not automatically translate language-based information (especially spoken words) into their primary visual language. Here is a strategy I have used both with myself and with many autistics of all ages. It helps us to outsmart the phenomenon that others call our inflexible thinking (Endow, 2013).

How to Outsmart Inflexible Thinking

1. Know You Do NOT Have to Tear Down Your Picture

Much trouble occurs because our thoughts are a picture in our heads. When one little thing changes we have to tear down that picture and start from scratch. This is one reason we protest change!

2. Instead, Make Your Picture in Layers

Demonstrate this by showing an actual picture thought in layers. I do this by using clear overhead projector sheets. I draw each element of a picture on a separate sheet, stacking the sheets up to create the one picture thought.

3. Now You Can Switch Out One Layer

Using the stacked up sheets you can show how one overhead sheet can be removed and another inserted to accommodate a change. For ease in manipulating the stack of overhead sheets use a hole-punch on the sheets so you can then put them into a binder.

4. Practice and Apply to Real Life Situations

Some autistics, once they see a picture made in layers, understand it and can apply it to the picture thoughts in their heads. Others need to watch the demonstration with overhead sheets. Most need to physically practice using the demonstration picture by actually changing out a layer and then go on to apply it to their own real life situations. This application process usually involves drawing out a picture thought onto layers of clear overhead sheets and then manually replacing one picture component with another. This is the basis for flexible thinking when your thinking is visual and your thoughts are in pictures. I have illustrated some concepts of flexible thinking through paintings that can be seen under the Art Store tab of my web site (www.judyendow.com). In addition, the picture in this blog shows four separate paintings that I use to illustrate another way to bring understanding about and work with inflexible thinking (Endow, 2013).

And lastly, I need to give myself lots of down time (Endow, 2011). Now that I am able to be more flexible by thinking my picture thoughts in layers, I am often exhausted at the end of the day. Because it takes a lot of energy to do this I need much down time where I do not need to interact with others. In addition, I have a group of autistic friends I arrange to spend time with periodically. With these friends I am able to be myself, not having to worry about fitting in and acting appropriately. For me, each day involves a high personal cost to fitting in. I choose to pay that cost and balance it with down time because it has allowed me to do and to be all I want in life.

Planetary Sky is the tittle of the acrylic painting by Judy Endow. See art at www.judyendow.com

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on September 7, 2014

The BIG Deal About Small Talk

November 4, 2014Communication, Hidden Curriculum, Social Considerationsadmin

As an adult with autism small talk is the most difficult of all communication and yet it is likely the most important communication skill when it comes to developing real relationships with other human beings.

I think of small talk as all the word fluff that people “lacking” autism (love to say it that way!) seem to require. I was reminded again last night when a dear friend popped out to chat online with me. Here is how our conversation started:

Susie: hey

Judy: what

Susie: “what?” geez, was just saying hi

Judy: STARTING OVER!

Judy: hi back

Judy: PS Forgot the fluff. Guess I skipped too much blah blah blah. Forgive me?

Susie: LOL no worries

Because Susie is a good friend the conversation moved on. But, consider this – Susie has known me for years. She understands I am not wired to automatically engage in small talk just like I understand Susie is wired to expect small talk to occur. Since there are more Susies than Judys in the world the onus is on me. If I want real friendships I need to engage with other people in a way that shows them I value their friendship. This makes small talk a BIG deal!

People expect small talk. It is part of that ever illusive hidden curriculum – all information neuro majority people are wired to naturally pick up so never need to be taught. Autistic people, on the other hand, have a neurology that does not permit them to automatically pick up all the hidden curriculum that everyone else knows, but nobody has ever taught – such as small talk (Endow, 2012). And because small talk is expected it is a BIG deal in the social arena when you don’t deliver it!

Small talk is also a BIG deal in when it comes to business relationships. It is difficult for me to understand why, when a boss says, “Time is money” meaning that workers should not waste time he would then EXPECT all workers to engage in a certain amount of small talk with every business transaction (Myles, Endow & Mayfield, 2013). This just goes to show that small talk is a very BIG deal!

Small talk is such a BIG deal that we are even expected to carry on with perfect strangers using small talk! This is particularly befuddling to me, but it is true that the expected polite thing to do is use the fluff words of small talk everywhere you go. Yesterday I did errands and watched for the small talk. It fell out of the mouths of the grocery checker, the postal worker and the bank teller (even it was the drive through!).

Because small talk is such a BIG deal I have made it my business to learn about it and become proficient enough to use it so as to fit more comfortably into the world around me, having more positive encounters with strangers and business people along with better relationships with close friends. Here are some things that have helped me:

Watch for small talk: For many weeks I intentionally watched for small talk when going on errands, working and spending time with friends. Once I started watching for it I was able to identify it. This helped me to understand what sorts of things were considered small talk.

Find appealing aspects of small talk: For example, even though I find small talk difficult I do very much enjoy the predictable repeating pattern – basically, you can count on small talk to be part of most conversations so the pattern repeats with each conversation regardless of the conversation partner.

Identify the small talk topics: The topics I have identified include the weather, the weekend and compliments. It has been helpful to me to know these topics that usually come at the beginning and sometimes at the end of a conversation are small talk in that I don’t need to pay close attention or remember all the details. This allows me to focus the more important words that usually follow the small talk in business transactions (Myles, Endow & Mayfield, 2013)

Writing Scripts Ahead of Time (Endow, 2006, pg. 52): My brain cannot retrieve something it hasn’t stored. Writing scripts ahead of time allows my brain to store the generic small talk fluff words so that I can pull them up and use them without needing to waste the energy it takes to create my portion of each small talk transaction that my brain otherwise reads as novel. I have scripts for the weather with a multiple-choice feature to accommodate current weather events. Here is one small talk weather script I use: “How are you liking this (heat, cold, wind, rain, sunshine)?

Play acting scripts: It will not work to simply repeat rote small talk scripts. You will come off looking very odd. I have found it helpful to think in terms of play-acting (Endow, 2012). This allows me to match the information of the script to the real life setting. For example, to a friend I might ask, “So, what’s the scoop on your weekend?” With a business acquaintance I might ask, “Did you have a nice weekend?”

Build word sandwiches: Whenever I have something important to say I pop up a picture of a sandwich. This shows me that my important words are the filling, but I need to build the sandwich, with the bread being the small talk words. The sandwich pop up reminds me to start and end my important words with small talk. It is amazing how much better people like my ideas when I sandwich the idea in small talk!

In conclusion, remember: if you teach communication or social skills to folks on the autism spectrum please embed the art of small talk along the way. As autistics, our learned communication strategies fall flat with out small talk. Many of our learned social skills put us in a position next to other human beings because we have learned their ways and are able to look like them. But if we have not learned the art of small talk we appear awkward, are easily dismissed and sometimes teased. Once we have learned the art of small talk we have a choice of when and where we wish to exert the often enormous amount of energy it takes to use it. It has been a huge positive in my life to have this choice. Therefore, I encourage you to please teach us the art of small talk because it is a BIG deal.

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on September 22, 2014

Supporting Autistic Relationships

November 1, 2014Growing Up Autistic, Social Considerationsadmin

As an autistic my connections to other people are perceived visually. In fact, I often need to have a concrete visual available in order to be able to think about my friends. A challenge I am often faced with is the erroneous presumption and resulting behavior of neuro-majority people when I need a visual in order to maintain a relationship.

Many Autistics Are Visual Thinkers
For those of us who are visual thinkers it seems logical that visuals would play an important part in developing relationships with others and in maintaining those relationships over time. In fact, many of us need something we can actually see such as a picture of a person or a concrete object representing that person. We do not decide to need this, but rather it is the way our autistic neurology makes information available and connections possible for us.

My Experience Growing Up
As for myself, I need a visual in order to think about a person or to pull up a conversation I had with a person. When I was a child I would sneak something of mom’s to take with me to school such as a discarded Doublemint gum wrapper. If I didn’t have some sort of visual reminder of mom with me it caused me to feel as if she did not exist – like she had died. When this happened it was hard to concentrate and figure out what my teachers wanted me to do.

My Challenges As an Autistic Adult
It seems to be difficult to get neuro-majority folks to understand this phenomenon, but when it occurs it is as if the out of site person is no longer alive. I need a visual placeholder in order to maintain my connection with another person. Often times when I am brave enough to make this need known I have been laughed at or in some other way ridiculed. It is thought to be babyish and I have been admonished to “grow up.”

I do not understand this reaction of others, but have experienced it many times over the years. It is not at all helpful. It does not honor my neurology and it does not allow me to participate in relationships. It seems to be difficult for neuro-majority folks to imagine relationship connections to be any way other than the way that works for them – which does not typically include a picture or object reminder of a friend in order to maintain the bond of connection.

Solutions

It is helpful to work with this neurology by providing a picture of an important person, such as a parent, for a child anxious over a pending separation. In my practice many a grieving student has been helped during the beginning of the school year by having a small photo of a parent taped inside his cubby, desk, locker or on the back page of an assignment notebook. Anxiety is reduced and learning ensues when a student is not grieving.
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Some autistics can learn to draw or write something that can serve as a placeholder for an out-of-site person.

An example from my own life ~ a poem & acrylic painting

Connections

Out of sight
Means
Out of mind

Unless

A
Picture
I
Create

Before
I
Knew
To
Do
This

A
Friend

I
Had no way
To
Keep

If you are of the neuro-majority please don’t poke fun, tease or shame an autistic for having a need imposed by his neurology. Besides being mean, it is not helpful and does not support relationship development.

If you are an autistic don’t belittle or put yourself down for a fact of your neurology. If you need something to serve as a visible placeholder for a person who is out of site and want to explain this to another person feel free to print off and use this blog as an explanation.

Conclusion
“Regardless of how or where I get my visual, the fact remains I need some sort of visual in order to experience the fact that I am connected to another person through the bond of friendship. This doesn’t make sense to most people, but I have learned not to let that bother me these days! I do what makes sense to my neurology to maintain and participate in friendships. My closest friends tend to be people who do not question this peculiarity but instead join with me in honoring it.” (Endow, 2013)

Connections is the tittle of the acrylic painting by Judy Endow. See art at www.judyendow.com

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on August 17, 2014

Autism and Thinking With Colors

October 2, 2014Autistic "Behavior", Growing Up Autistic, Sensory Solutions, Social Considerationsadmin

I think in colors. My thinking colors have sound and movement. When I hear spoken words my neurology automatically goes for the match. When I was a girl, I heard the saying, “I got the world by the tail.” Immediately, the matching pictures of tail started popping up in my head. It’s like having a personal version of Google Images.

The initial picture search produced a variety of tails of animals. Then, there came the images of the ground mist I saw each morning when I went outdoors after breakfast. I assigned the world tail words I heard to this literal tail meaning that enabled me to name the pictures that had popped up in my head.

Specifically, I assigned this new tail meaning to the interaction of the sunlight and misty water particles I could see rising up from the earth’s surface whenever I was outside. For most of my life, I thought this literally was the earth’s tail.

Furthermore, I thought that people were somehow able physically to grab onto this tail and when they did so they indeed had the world by the tail! I had often tried to touch these sparkles, but now I had a new mission. I wanted to actually catch this tail so I too might have the world by its tail! I am glad this was the 1950’s because children played outdoors many hours. I was not interrupted in my efforts of trying to catch the earth tails.

Today, this would be called “a behavior” and more specifically would be labeled “stimming.” Unfortunately, today some would try to intervene and stop me from engaging in this behavior. Back then, it was just thought to be my way of playing. I used this environmental phenomenon of ground mist interacting with the sun sparkles to make sense of the progression of time across the day. It allowed me to be able to predict what would happen when (lunch, naptime, setting the table for dinner, etc.). I am glad nobody took my mechanism of sense-making away from me!

People with autism are often visual thinkers. It is not something we decide, but rather the way our brain handles information. We do not know when we are little that most other people think with words rather than with colors and pictures. This makes it difficult in school as delivery of information quickly becomes language-based as pictures drop away after the first few years. This dramatic change in materials in the United States occurs at the third-grade level when text-based instruction becomes predominant.

For me, it was hard to think about or understand ideas that were not concrete ideas. Basically, if my brain could not translate the words I heard into a concrete picture in a few seconds, as a young child I would not be able to pick up the meaning of the words being spoken. Even though I did not understand the meaning, I was able to repeat the words. For example, when prompted I could repeat the teacher’s instruction to use quiet voices even though I had no idea what the words meant at that moment because no picture popped up in my head to equal those words (Endow, 2013). I was often labeled stubborn and noncompliant based on other’s interpretation of my behavior. In reality, I was doing the best I could in the moment to participate and do what was asked of me by the adults.

Because autistics have different operating systems, we are misunderstood in many ways. Our operating system visits different, and yet often intense, experiences of aspects of the world that others never seem to notice at all! I would like to end with a poem illustrating the huge impact mismatched colors have on me.

Warring Colors
(Excerpt from Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers)

Colors are something her eyes can readily see

and when colors match
they tend to give back
a comfort to her eyes.

But when colors don’t match she can get distracted

and sometimes finds it harder to function
when her attention needs to be given
over to inside-her-skin physical senses.

If world-people could see what happens inside to her body

when colors are clashing outside of her skin
in the world all around her
this is what they’d observe

Her eyes start hurting as if they are burning.
Sometimes tears form and leak onto her face.

Her insides become disjointed

with inside-her-skin molecules
of her very being
trying to move away from each other

like sisters and brothers
in a family feud –

kin
not getting along,
choosing sides and
warring with one another.

This causes a physical aching.
Her muscles get sore and tired

Over the years she has learned that for her

it is not a very wise choice
to remain a long time inside of a room
where colors don’t match together.
(Endow, 2006, pp. 24-25)

Outside time dawns bright for me
While Misty Earth is making
A bright New Tail that rises up
Then back to me for taking.
(Endow, 2013, p.43)

Painting is EARTH-Tail Mist by Judy Endow
Note: Greeting cards and prints in three sizes are available for order at www.judyendow.com

BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean