Treat Others As THEY Want to Be Treated

Hidden Curriculum, Social Considerations

I was taught to treat other people the way I want to be treated. This works out great when I am with autistic friends because we share an autistic neurology. It does not always work out well when I am with everyone else who populates this world from a neuro-majority place of being. Therefore, the onus has been on me to figure this out for myself. It has taken many decades, but I have finally worked it out in a way that allows me to live more comfortably in a world largely populated by folks who do not share my neurology.

It works out for most of the population to treat others the way they would like to be treated only because they share the majority neurology. What this admonition actually means for autistics is learn how other people want to be treated and then treat them that way. This is tricky because other people never actually tell you how they want to be treated, but instead expect you to automatically know this information and act on it. Furthermore, when you don’t treat them the way they want to be treated – even though you can’t because you don’t have this information – they make all sorts of negative assumptions about your intentions and character. Often times relationships sour, job opportunities are lost and many doors get slammed in your face.

This information that is mutually understood by the neuro-majority folks is called the hidden curriculum. It is all the information that is assumed knowledge and, therefore, rarely discussed. It is also assumed that the neuro-majority way of being is the “right” way to be in this world while the automatic autistic way is the “wrong” way. As the “wrong” people we are expected to change our ways. If we do change, we may be given a ticket to participation in the “real world” – a place populated by the neuro-majority.

This changing-your-ways-to-fit-in is called passing. My take on this is that it is morally wrong to have to pass to be given opportunities. And yet, because I cannot change the world around me, I like having the power to pass when it is in my best interest to do so. It can be a powerful tool in terms of being and doing what I want in my life. My sense of comfort and control over my own life has increased as I have learned the hidden curriculum information the neuro-majority operates from – and the real truth from my vantage point is the hidden curriculum makes the world go round, not love!

If this is not your cup of tea, please read no further. However, if you are interested, here is one important truth I’ve learned along the way. I am passing it along as I believe we can learn vicariously – from each other’s experience – rather than each of us having to learn everything by first-hand experience.

DISCLOSURE: The following bulleted points may appear tongue in cheek to some, but is total truth from an autistic point of view – in particular my autistic point of view. My viewpoint is not shared with every autistic person because we each think independently and thus have various points of view, just like all human beings.

  • If you want to pass as a “REAL PERSON” in the “REAL WORLD” the single most important thing to do is to take up telling lies. These lies are not just any sort of lies. I think of them as image specific lies. It seems important to neuro-majority people to pretend they are an ideal version of themselves than they really are in everyday life.
  • What works for me to be able to treat neuro-majority people in this way deemed “appropriate” by them is for me to think of a fairy tale figure with imposed super hero powers and then act as if my friend truly is the pretend image. This means that every attribute for appearance and functioning is always favorable – even if in reality that is an outright lie. Somehow supporting these sorts of lies gives a neuro-majority person points in the self-esteem department, boosting their happiness and their general sense of wellbeing.
  • Some common lies considered good, “appropriate” and beneficial to tell to neuro-majority people have to do with compliments. Here is an example:
    `
    “You look __________.” (Insert positive descriptors such as lovely, beautiful, fantastic, wonderful for females and dashing, handsome, like a stud for males.)
  • Rotate compliment descriptors so as not to use the same descriptor with the same person over and over. Saying, “you look beautiful” five times in a row, even though each time is separated by days, does not sound genuine. And even though your comment is, in fact, not genuine, it needs to sound genuine if you want to support the needs of neuro-majority person. It is in your own best interest to support them because the neuro-majority has the power to issue tickets to autistic people for participation in life.
  • Deliver the lie as if it were the ultimate truth. This means you must have an enthusiastic, firm voice and put a genuine smile on your face. To come up with the right kind of smile I think of something pleasant rather than a joke because I have learned that a joke kind of smile can negate all your effort up to this point at accommodating the neuro-majority need for these image-lies. It may help to practice in front of the mirror.
  • When delivering lie-compliments do not use comparative wording such as you look less fat or more beautiful than the last time I saw you. Neuro-majority people will take this wrong for so many different reasons. For example, even though I mean it as a compliment when my friend asks, “How does this dress look?” it will not be perceived as a compliment when I say, “It makes you look less fat than the other one.”
    `
    Also, comparative compliments in the other direction will not work out well. An example is “You look more beautiful than last time I saw you.” Neuro-majority people do not have it in them to accept these sorts of compliments. They immediately interpret this kind of compliment to mean “How bad did I look last time?”  Your intent does not matter. It will not be taken into consideration. Neuro-majority inflexibility will rule on this point.
  • It is also important to refrain from looking sheepish once your comment has been delivered. Even though it may go against your morals and values to tell such a bold-faced lie, DO NOT LOOK GUILTY. Even though your extreme efforts in the delivery of such a lie make it only reasonable to feel very guilty, DO NOT LOOK GUILTY. It will only negate all your effort.
    `
    Remember, neuro-majority people want to be lied to in this manner. They expect it from one another. In fact, they expect it from everyone, including you. They actually perceive this as “normal.” If you want to pass, you need to keep up the acting by assuming a smiling “normal” appearance after you have delivered your lie-compliment. This is because neuro-majority people do not have autistic theory of mind. They are quite limited and deficient at being able to sort out what to expect from an autistic person.

Remember, neuro-majority folks are considered the “normal” people because their neurology is dominant by 50 to 1. They get to set the rules and allow or bar the folks with the minority neurology. They are considered the “REAL PEOPLE” in the “REAL WORLD.” Even though this reality is not my truth, if I want a ticket to ride I must play the game. I like being able to go out into the world to interact with others and to be part of my community. I find it necessary to maintain employment.

While I consider it morally wrong to be made to pass I enjoy a place of privilege in that I have a choice. Others do not have this choice as they come in unruly bodies. And even though I have a choice it comes with a great cost in that I need to spend considerable time in solitude in order to be able to go out the door into the world and pass enough to get by. Even so, it is better than the alternative I lived growing up – residing in an institution.

These days when I hear the admonition about treating others the way you want to be treated I realize it really means to treat others the way THEY want to be treated. I have gone to great lengths to treat others in the way they want to be treated even though it is foreign to me. I think it is respectful to treat others in a way they find comfortable. I do not often see this sort of respect extended back to me as an autistic person, but am hopeful that in time autistics will experience the sort of respect that one human being gives to another. The truth is we already are real people in the real world even though we have largely been divided out into that place of “other.”

Learning-Odyssey

BOOKS  BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on March 27, 2014

 

Excerpt From Paper Words: Discovering and Living with My Autism

Growing Up Autistic, Social Considerations, Visual Supports

I remember with fondness my institutional social worker and some of my favorite aides who began group therapy sessions with a handful of girls on my ward.  The topic was often the same – FEELINGS.

I understood feelings intellectually, knowing their labels and their definitions.  I also began to realize that the way I perceived the world – through the movements and sounds of colors –

though real      as real

could be

to me

was not

a reality           shared

by others

and thus …

I came to understand that if I wanted one day to be discharged from this institution, it behooved me to NOT share my color realities with others.  So, I didn’t.

Instead, I focused on learning all I could about feelings so that I might figure out how to match this information to my perceived experiences with my beloved colors.  And yes, colors were my “beloved” because through the movements and sounds of colors I was able to make my way in the world outside of my skin.  Because of my perceptions of the ways of the colors all around me and the colors generated from the interactions between people, I began to pay more attention – and thus came to a better and better understanding of the world-people world all around me.  Thus, as a teen I was able to begin to very literally sort out and apply the feeling labels I carried around in my pocket to the colors of my then-current life experiences.

Today I write this because I want people to understand that actual barometer development happened in a very literal and concrete way for me.  I also would like it if people could start to imagine a world perceived by the movement and sounds of colors rather than a world whose meaning is primarily obtained by the sound of words being articulated.

And while you are imagining, please entertain the notion that a person who has an internally wired neurology to enable this, though a bit different from most, may not be any less intelligent, or indeed any less of a human being, than the typically wired folks, who are clearly in “The Majority” in the world-people world.

It may not be any better or any worse …

It is just different.

(But, for real, does “different” and “minority” need to be equated with “less than”?)

And still, at this point in the story, I had not yet become acquainted with autism.  Indeed, my “communicative” brand of autism had not yet become widely known in the world outside my skin.

But just because others didn’t yet know about IT

and therefore I could not be told about IT

or have any way to become acquainted with IT,

I nevertheless kept right on discovering this IT

that would one day come to be called my AUTISM

So,       once again,

come               along
with me

on my              journey
of discovery…

of my own       private
world               that resides

in that               inside space
of the place                 on

the side of
my skin            that’s located on

the inside
side of             me

this      private world
of mine

that would
one day

come to           be called

            my autism …

 Excerpt from Paper Words: Discovering and Living with My Autism, pp. 43-44

Note: All my thoughts are in pictures. Words are a translation of the pictures I use when thinking. The spaces between letters and words represent how long it takes for the pictures to fluidly move in such a manner as to connect smoothly with the next thought.

Paper-Words

BOOKS  BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

 

“Sucking It Up” To Pass as Non-Autistic

Autism and Aging, Social Considerations

Written in English: “Sucking It Up” To Pass as Non-Autistic
http://www.judyendow.com/autism-and-aging/sucking-it-up-to-pass-as-non-autistic/‎

French Translation: Se faire violence pour « passer sous le radar » de l’autisme
http://www.judyendow.com/french-blogs/se-faire/  ‎

It is a lot of work to look non-autistic, and yet, looking non-autistic is the ticket to sit at many tables. It is not right, and yet, I choose to expend a great deal of energy inhibiting my autistic ways for the sake of sitting at some of society’s tables. Employment is one such table. Just like all other adults I need to pay the monthly bills, buy groceries, have transportation, etc. This all poses quite the conundrum for me.

I spent most of my life to trying to figure out the world around me – to fit myself into it in such a way as to feel more comfortable, raise my children, remain employed and have a few good friends. This all has come at a high personal cost. In many areas of life, I have to literally “suck it up” and be someone I am not just to have a ticket to participate.

I am in my late 50’s. I have lived my life differently than the younger autistic activists and the autistic children of today. I spent some of my growing up years in an institution. Autism was not a diagnosis given out back then. Instead, I had several other labels. My institution employed behavior modification. I learned to “suck it up” to purchase my ticket to freedom – discharge from a state mental institution. If I had to do it again – yes, I would choose to “suck it up” and be someone I wasn’t because the ticket I needed to buy was important enough to me to be able to purchase.

As a young adult, I failed at my first attempt to get a college degree. For three years, I was successful at “sucking it up” and acting non-autistic enough (even though I hadn’t yet heard of autism) – acting as a stranger to myself, role playing somebody I wasn’t. It worked for almost three years. I learned that even though I could act as somebody I wasn’t every school day for three years, that being the person I was for one instance could undo all of the three years. If I had to do it again – yes, I would choose to “suck it up” and be someone I wasn’t because the ticket I wanted to buy was important enough to me to try my hardest to purchase.

As an older adult, I succeeded at my next attempt to get a college degree. By that time, I had almost 20 more years of “sucking it up” practice on my side. Even so, I knew there was a personal limit on how long I could “suck it up” – hiding my autistic self so others would allow me to make it through college. Thus, I sped through college as fast as I could go, cramming in as much as possible in the shortest time. I did a four year undergrad program in three years and a two year graduate program in one calendar year (a fall, winter and summer semester). Academics were no problem. The way I came off to other people was a problem. Therefore, the less I was around one group of people the better off I was in terms of not drawing attention to myself and in not alienating professors and fellow students. If I had to do it again – yes, I would choose to “suck it up” and be someone I wasn’t because the ticket I wanted to buy was important enough to me to try my hardest to purchase.

In my work life, I was able to “suck it up” and be someone I wasn’t so as to maintain employment to provide for my children. It was exhausting. And yet, if I had to do it again – yes, I would choose to “suck it up” and be someone I wasn’t because the ticket I wanted to buy was important enough to me to try my hardest to purchase. I wanted the freedom to parent my own children without someone deciding I was not able to do so. And believe me, I had more than my share of those someone’s in my life due to one child’s needs. One of those people who had power over me said as long as I maintained my job I would be seen as fit to parent my children. So, yes – a thousand times over I would again “suck it up” – to be someone I wasn’t for the sake of keeping my ticket to parent my children. They are now all grown living their own happy and fulfilled lives. “Sucking it up” was entirely worth it to me.

Today I am fortunate enough to support myself by running my own business. This sounds fancy and highfalutin, but in reality it means that I need to be in charge of my own schedule. I have figured out how to string together enough different kinds of work (consulting, writing, art, speaking) that I am able to maintain an income sufficient to pay the bills and live my life. The deal breaker is I must schedule my work in a way to provide me with alternate time at home (writing, art and preparing for speaking) and time away from home (consulting and speaking along with the travel involved).  Even so, this still means that when hired to consult and to speak I must employ a certain degree of “sucking it up” in order to get people to value my work enough to hire me. I continue on in this manner because I enjoy my work, my travel and in general, my life as it is today.

On occasion younger autistic adults fault me for “sucking it up” and being someone I am not. I know this because they tell me so. There is a term I have recently learned called “passing.” I am told that when I am “sucking it up,” I am “passing.” It means I have learned to act as a phony – a sort of pretense at being non-autistic. In reality, for me it means that when I am in employment situations I expend a great deal of energy to inhibit my natural self. This is necessary to me in order to support myself. Do I like it? No. Even so, I am glad I am able to “pass” when I need to because it has made my life better than when I couldn’t “pass” in that my income is more stable now than then.

Many argue that all people have to do this “sucking it up” to some extent. After all, we cannot just act however we wish when we are in public. I agree. However, autistics have to do this to such a greater extent that it prohibits many of us from being employed because we simply cannot “suck it up” long enough each day to be gainfully employed. For me, it means I must pay strict attention to how I schedule my life. I must employ sensory regulating activities and much quiet time in order to be in shape to be able to “suck it up” when I go out the door to work away from home.

I think my life is the best it can be at this point in time. I hope the lives of younger autistics have broadened possibilities as we go forward into the future. I hope more autistics are able to be the person they are, utilizing the supports and accommodations they need, without society insisting they hide their very essence at every turn. I look forward to autistics having everyday lives with things so many take for granted – going to school, being part of the community, having meaningful jobs with living wages along with meaningful relationships. This is the stuff of a satisfying life. All people should have access without society’s requirement of “sucking it up” before a ticket is extended by the majority to those of us in marginalized groups.

judyendow2300

BOOKS  BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on March 20, 2014

Chalk Word Lines of Separation

Activism/Advocacy, Social Considerations

Words are used in many ways
Sometimes they are my friends

Others sometimes use their words
That sound like love and friend
Extending from them
To me

But in reality

These words only sound like love and friend
But in the end the sound of them
Does not ring true and good
And is not of love and friend

But instead these words draw lines
Dividing
Their group of US
From my group of THEM

Society says it is ok
In fact it is perfectly fine
And noble
Even though self-serving
Entirely acceptable
To divide out those THEMs
From USes

As long as it’s done
With a smile

Using words that are initially tolerable
Because

Society needs a way to talk about THEM
Because in the end
It is only for THEIR own good
To help them
To get services
To provide the spot for THEIR inclusion
(Once they have proven themselves able to handle it)

Sneaky words said with a smile
While holding a piece of chalk
To draw the dividing line
Made by words
Sounding alright on the surface
But laden with
Otherness
Less Than
Different
Not US
And sometimes Not Quite Human

We are the people you call

  • Special
  • Low Functioning
  • High Functioning

You say we are in need of a

  • Peer Buddy
  • Peer Pal
  • Good Friend from Mrs. Jones Program

We are the

  • Inclusion Student
  • The community service hours other kids need

We sit

  • At the Peer Buddies lunch table
  • The Special Ed table in the Inclusion Room
  • On the Special Ed bench waiting for our short bus

During the school day you will find us in the

  • Inclusion Room (when it is our turn because they can only take one of us at a time)
  • Cognitively Delayed Room
  • Behavior Room
  • Emotionally Disturbed Room
  • EBD Room (Emotionally Behaviorally Disturbed)
  • Special Ed Room
  • Special Needs Room

We are so doggone “special” that after school we attend

  • Special Olympics
  • Special Arts
  • Special Night at the YMCA
  • Special Needs Social Group

Where every participant is just as special
And those who are not special are our helpers

 When we grow up we live in

  • Special Housing
  • Some of us in Section 8 rentals
  • Some in group homes
  • Some in county care facilities
  • Some of us are so special that there isn’t even a special enough place for us so we stay living with our parents.
  • Some of us are not quite special enough to get on a housing list and yet cannot maintain on our own so we stay living with our parents.

As adults too many of us spend our days

  • In Special Programs (if our county has them)
  • At ARC (if our town has an ARC)
  • At Sheltered Workshops (if one is available)
  • In Supported Employment (if we qualify)
  • Looking for a job (on the days we are able to)
  • On the couch in our parents home (because other options are not available)

Because we are so deficient
In ever so many ways
Whenever we do something ordinary
like zip up our jacket, ride a horse, or answer Jeopardy questions you describe us as

  • Awesome
  • An Inspiration

I don’t understand this. If my friends and I are such awesome inspirations to the rest of you

  • Why is it that we are in two distinct groups – US and THEM?
  • Why is it that your group always holds the chalk?
  • Why do you keep using your chalk to draw lines that divide us?
  • Why do you want me on the other side of your line – away from you?
  • And why do you think this is good?

judyendow2300

BOOKS  BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on February 13, 2014.

Assigned Friends Outcome

Activism/Advocacy, Social Considerations

I was taught to say, “Thank you for being my friend.”
So I say it.
I was told to smile like I mean it.
So I smile.

I know I am supposed to feel grateful
That you are my friend
That you took the class
On how to be a peer mentor to me –

The good friends way –
A pal for six weeks
You have been defined

You are a good person
For giving up your spot
At the popular kids’ lunch table

To earn the community service hours
You need for graduation
By eating lunch with me,
By being my assigned friend.

I ask, “Do you know Jerry Lewis?”
Because I think you would like him
I think you are a modern day Jerry Lewis –
A Good Samaritan who calls himself friend.

You don’t have a telethon on TV,
But you have the Jerry Lewis Telethon
In you heart
Imparted by Mrs. Jones in her Good Friends Program.

You are a good person.
You are a trained Good Samaritan now called “friend.”

 Definition of Good Samaritan

 “A person who gratuitously gives help or sympathy
to those in distress.”

 Says dictionary.com

 Next month you will get your community service credit.
Your lifelong attitude about people like me
Will have been shaped

Because the peer mentoring training
Has passed on to you
Society’s adoption of Jerry Lewis’ ideas about me –
A person in need of sympathy
And a person in distress
Only because I am me – an autistic

We have become fake friends
For six weeks –
A Mrs.-Jones-Good-Friends-Program-success!

Your benevolence;
My neediness
Having been defined

With a line drawn between us
Our two groups separated
Defined, distinct, different from each other –
Society’s wisdom at categorization…

When it is over
We say our goodbyes

And like I was taught I say,
“Thank you for being my friend.”
And I remember I am meant
To smile like I mean it.
So I smile.

Goodbye peer mentor –
My assigned pal
From Mrs. Jones Good Friends Program.

You go on to your next project
I wait for my next assigned friend to eat lunch with
Both of us having been marked by the experience

Unbeknownst to Mrs. Jones and to us –
The indelible ink of societal attitudes
Wrote messages on both our hearts
Confirming my place in your world…

That it is indeed YOUR world
And thus, your right
To continually put me in my place

For which I am meant to say,
“Thank you for being my friend.”
And to smile like I mean it.

And this status quo could march on and on
EXCEPT

Yesterday I stopped smiling
And for all the rest of my todays

I will no longer say
“Thank you for being my friend.”
Even though I know I am meant to.

judyendow2300

BOOKS  BY JUDY ENDOW

Endow, J. (2019).  Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.

Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2006).  Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2013).  Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.

Endow, J. (2009).  Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2009).  Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Endow, J. (2010).  Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013).  The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.

Originally written for and published by Ollibean on February 5, 2014.