One of the hardest things about my autism is the unreliable fluidity of my own thinking. Sometimes my thoughts are fluid and sometimes they are not. When my thoughts are fluid I can easily think through task-oriented things such as making a meal, writing an article, or cleaning the house. I can make a mental (or written) list and follow it. I can think of a main idea and sub topics. I can gather supplies and start.
When my thoughts are not fluid life is a bit different. When it comes to meals, rather than eating dinner, I will eat one thing at a time. I might eat a banana. Then an hour later I might put a frozen turkey burger in the microwave and eat that. Later still I might put a bag of frozen vegetables in the microwave and eat just those vegetables. It works for me. When it comes to writing or cleaning the house I am not able to engage when my thoughts are not fluid. Well, technically, I could engage, but have learned that it is a huge waste of time. My best strategy is to put it off until my thoughts are more fluid.
Because it does not work in life to simply put off doing many things because my thoughts are not fluid I have figured out strategies to keep my thinking as fluid as possible. Many of these strategies are sensory related. The more disregulated my body becomes the less fluid my thoughts is the general rule. Even so, it is not consistent across the board. There have been occasions where I was quite disregulated and had fluid thoughts. There have also been occasions when I have been well regulated and my thinking fluidity was anything but fluid!
Helpful Activities Toward Impacting Movement Fluidity in My Thinking
- Maintaining General Over All Sensory Regulation: I spend several hours every day to maintain regulation as best I can. Typically I have a current routine that works well for a couple of years and then what works for me to bring daily sensory regulation to my system changes.
- Walking: Many times walking seems to serve as an oil of sorts for my thoughts – i.e., walking helps my thoughts to move along as my feet take steps.
- Writing: Sometimes I can kick my thinking into movement if I begin to write words. This strategy is especially helpful when my brain is stuck on a phrase that keeps repeating in my thoughts. I find that if I write down a repeating phrase each time it comes up that after a few times I can continue on with the written phrase. Sometimes I continue on in writing and other times the thought fluidity is sparked enough that I can continue on with my thinking without the need for written support to aid the thinking fluidity.
- Art Endeavors: Creating anything artful that shows movement such as painting, quilling, quilting, knitting, crocheting, photography, etc. is quite helpful to get sluggish, non-fluid thoughts moving better. The practical problem with this strategy is that even though I have many sorts of art endeavors I enjoy, they are packed away on shelves inside a large walk in closet. When my thoughts are not fluid I do not have the capability to get out the supplies I need for any given project. I have tried over the years to outsmart this by having a great organization system with totes/boxes clearly labeled. While this has made for a neat storage closet it hasn’t been helpful in terms of being able to get out needed supplies to engage in an art project when my thoughts are not fluid, i.e. when I need it most is when I can’t do it.
- Reading: This strategy doesn’t consistently work, but it is so easy to pick up a book to see if reading will work. I can know after reading a few pages whether or not it will work. I always have several books I am in the process of reading so have lots to choose from at my fingertips when I am home! I have also found that if I read every day it seems to be helpful in terms of keeping my thoughts more fluid.
The problems I experience with fluidity in thinking seems to be a movement related issue. It has so many parallels to physical movement only instead of my body moving, the movement has to do with the physical movement in my brain that happens when thinking. The impact of movement fluidity in thinking used to be a small factor in my life. It seemed that as long as my body was in a good place with sensory regulation my thinking fluidity was pretty good. This has changed with age, especially over the past few years.
Additionally, the problems I experience with fluidity in thinking are not the same as experienced by older adults in general. When movement fluidity in thinking becomes glitchy – jumping, stopping, slowing with irregularity in pace and intensity – I can impact it towards good by employing the previously stated measures. If I do not actively use these strategies my thoughts become fewer and fewer along with body movement becoming less and less. This gets scary so now that I have figured out what to do I do so.
Poverty of Information Currently Available
During the past few years (I am 61 as I write this blog) my thinking fluidity has become more front and center in needing to be managed. The ideas stated here have been the ones that have worked the best for me. There is so little written about autism and aging. There are so many autistics aging. It seems I am foraging into new territory to write about this topic.
I also wonder about the impact of autistic burnout factor that many of my aging autistic cohorts have written and discussed. This burnout has to do with becoming physically unable to keep up the pace of acting as if we are not autistic so as to fit into the world around us. After decades of making ourselves appear to be of typical neurology so that we can work to pay the bills and interact in community settings to raise our kids many of us slowly come to experience burnout. Some of us have come to a grinding halt and others of us experience this burnout more slowly over time, but all of us have found it necessary to pull back, retreating from the demands of our world. I wonder if there is an intersection or overlap of autistic burn out and difficulty maintaining thinking fluidity or perhaps if uneven movement fluidity in thinking is part of autistic burnout.
Looking to the Future
I would love to hear from others as to the presence/absence of increasing difficulty with thinking fluidity as aging occurs along with any helpful ideas you are willing to share from your own experience. In addition, if anyone knows of anything written about this topic of movement fluidity in thinking being impacted as autistics age please share. I haven’t yet been able to find any resources about this topic. Looking forward to hearing from my comrades – feeling the need to age gracefully together, learning from one another and forging new territory for those coming up behind us.
BOOKS BY JUDY ENDOW
Endow, J. (2019). Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Lancaster, PA: Judy Endow.
Endow, J. (2012). Learning the Hidden Curriculum: The Odyssey of One Autistic Adult. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.
Endow, J. (2006). Making Lemonade: Hints for Autism’s Helpers. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.
Endow, J. (2013). Painted Words: Aspects of Autism Translated. Cambridge, WI: CBR Press.
Endow, J. (2009). Paper Words: Discovering and Living With My Autism. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.
Endow, J. (2009). Outsmarting Explosive Behavior: A Visual System of Support and Intervention for Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.
Endow, J. (2010). Practical Solutions for Stabilizing Students With Classic Autism to Be Ready to Learn: Getting to Go. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.
Myles, B. S., Endow, J., & Mayfield, M. (2013). The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job: Navigating the Social Landscape of Employment. Shawnee Mission, KS: AAPC Publishing.